Yes, I am still hoping to offer a resurgence of something--more on this blog, or more travels to which I can add adventures. I lost that spirit a while ago and hope to rekindle it sooner rather than later . . . . 

Re-upping yet again

I asked in a post two years ago if I'm hoarding blogs, and I suppose I am--at least trying to keep alive the content that I might want to use for other purposes or just to remember what I did at that time in my life that I otherwise would be hard pressed to remember. For now, it suffices.

Summer 2022

Dropping in yearly to a post I'm not sure should stay alive. And yet . . . . 

Hoarding s is a form of procrastination. In some ways, I don't think of myself as a hoarder, but it's challenging to let go of things. I finally found a buyer for my father's collection of Lakeside Press books, which finally prompted me to start reading some, and now I'm not sure I should sell them! Yet they've sat in a box for years . . . . 

So am I hoarding blogs? Have I changed at all over the years? I've gathered more information and knowledge, but has it changed my habits and how I am in relation to the world? 

Who knows . . . . .

New Commitment (Who Needs New Year for Resolutions?)

Sunday, April 18--A new commitment.

I looked at another diet community that promised that they and I would use psychology to lose weight. That I needed to think about food in a new way. 

No. I've done that. This blog reminds me that I've done it and can do it again. I paid attention to myself during this time and did what I knew I needed to do.

Fast (though in some ways it seem so slow and so long) forward, and here we are, perhaps on the cusp of the changing face of a pandemic, perhaps it's only an illusion. The fact is, we don't know. Could other versions of the coronavirus take hold strongly enough that even those of us who have vaxxed up with be subject to the deadly possibilities of essentially a new virus? I can't wait any longer in my house for the day when I'll have all the ways I can be active again, because I don't need to. I drove close to where my work location is to get my haircut, and during rush hour. I hated it, and I remembered that I could spend over an hour in the car to get to my office to sit to do work to go to a meeting where I would sit again, and so on. Yes I walked in between, but not so much that I can't do that at home as well if I incorporate more action, more cardio, and more avoidance of what I shouldn't do and shouldn't have.

I've stopped drinking more than one drink a week, mainly due to GI other medical concerns. It doesn't suit me anymore.

I don't bring in food to my house that I know I'll indulge in, like potato chips or ice cream. 

I eat a 90% vegetarian diet with 10% fish.

And today, I just recommitted to cardio. My one walk per day and a little gentle yoga just won't cut it. I know it. I have to do something about it.

I'm back to P-90 or my other exercise tapes in the morning, and plan to alternate cardio and strength. I will also walk and bike on weekends, but have to develop a workable plan for that. I send Sunday evenings with my 95 year-old father-in-law, so Sunday mornings I need to leave early if I'm going to bike. Soon, my Spring teaching term will end and I can bike weekday mornings. Once it's not 37 degrees when I wake up as it was this morning, that will be an encouraging time to bike 20 miles. 

It doesn't take more time either. I spend far too much time checking social media, or roaming around online, reading what I consider to be interesting things, but which are not helping AT ALL. They contribute to my spreading backside. I will also cancel a couple of streaming services and go back to contributing to PBS Passport and then one other--Netflix or HBO max. I don't spend much time watching television anyway, so I think it makes sense to cancel those things that I do on my butt.

Whew! Lots of commitments, but so far, the proof is yet to come. That's why I'm returning to this. It helped before--why not assume it can help again.

COVID--Dec 6 2020

 A new normal. Wanting this to stay alive to review, but unsure what to do with my life as a writer. How to focus it and where to take myself during the remaining months of quarantine . . . .  

January 2020 -- A New Generation

Youngest son's SO is in labor with a first grandbaby. The fear mixed with excitement and knowing that this is NOT something I can help with is a bit overwhelming. Waiting is all there is. In Search Of peace, love, health, and good outcomes.

Wednesday, June 19, 2019

Something feels auspicious about this date--the double 19 itself, the ending of a time in Montreal with a friend and the return to a summer of preparation for a second year in a position at work that will be busy, overwhelming, stressful--if, at least, I live it as I did the first year. What am I in search of here? How can writing be more a part of my life? I will explore that in the days and weeks ahead . . . .

Half a year later . . . .

Why bother keeping these blogs going? Not sure, except I'm not sure how to capture the content so I can use it elsewhere, or at least archive it; don't have the time to do so and hoping this coming summer can be the time to work on this; and just stubborn, I guess.

In search of peace, fulfillment, bettering the planet and the people on it, dismantling the structures created by those whose goal is to dismantle government institutions designed to protect our Rule of Law and the Constitutional underpinnings and bulwark of various agencies, regulations, laws, and people who have been in place to defend the rights or all, not just the rich or the religious.

May 2018 uncover new ways of moving forward with strength, stamina, and ultimately, success.

Checking In

Still here, after all these years. Also, back to working on photography. I hope that some of these pictures will encourage me to work harder and smarter at the photos I take. A photography class (week 3 coming up) is already helping.
 

July 2016

It's hard to believe this was 7 years ago, but not because it seems so long ago but because somehow this has faded into what seems like an even more distant background. I think in part it's because my body and mind were there, but my soul wasn't. I wasn't engaged in the whole enterprise in a way that I was passionate about. I learned a lot, I had some interesting experiences, but I also see it as an opportunity where much was also lost for silly reasons. Another reminder to determine what's important in life and to make the most of ALL opportunities.

Looking Back

I should have been reflecting as I finished the weeks, and I'm amazed at how much I wrote in the first weeks and then totally fell down on the job for the remaining weeks. I left in the morning on Friday, July 16 for a trip to Boston, then NYC to see my friend Tom and his wife. I had trouble leaving. The last couple days found me grumpy and a bit emotional, even though I think I suffered from being homesick and a bit lonely the first two weeks. I also realized that though I really enjoyed Maine, I had ambivalent feelings about all the reading and the acquaintences I made, not so much because I didn't enjoy everything, but because I realized I wouldn't really want this type of situation to continue. It was what it was--a gathering of people whose lives had been temporarily left behind who had gathered for a particular purpose. That part hadn't changed; it wasn't like I was back in high school journalism camp at Ball State University where I fell hard for a fellow camper from some high school in Indiana. Oh, I don't want to go, he's so cute, etc., etc.

So what was the concern? And this may also answer my friend Lucy's question about what I've learned from this little adventure. In part, it was that for five weeks, even though there were distractions of many kinds, and the expectation that I would go to the meetings and do the work, it still very much felt like I could focus on and do what I wanted. Take a bike ride on a sunny afternoon? Sure! Go to ladies' night out? Of course. There developed a fear and a certain sadness that such freedom would not translate back to Cincinnati. Yes, I could bike there. Sure I could meet friends. But there would be the reminder of the school work to prepare, the writing to do, the house that needs so much work, and even more pleasurably, the sons with whom I'd like to spend some time. In other words, my world, like everyone's I'm sure, is multiple with many more reasons to be pulled off-task. And, I realized yet again, I am not the world's best and ablest focuser. I find it difficult to harness my energies to accomplish the task at hand, partly because I find it hard to answer (or don't want to answer) the question of what "the" task is that is at hand. This one or that? (or that? or that?)

Unless I want to continue to struggle and feel somewhat less than satisfied with any or all of the things I do seek to accomplish, I will have to figure this one out--how to get the jobs done with less anxiety and stress over them. I'm supposing I'm not the only one with this trouble, but I think some have found the knack for putting the necessary blinders on, and somewhat happily, to get jobs done sequentially. Any and all ideas welcome.

I did also learn that I can contribute to a new group of people and come across as intelligent and even somewhat interesting. I told that to a friend and he said, so why did you ever doubt that? That's good to hear, too. But in our routines, I think it's far too easy to get lost under the burden of what needs to get done next and forget that each of us has talents that other people appreciate and that are worthwhile seeing the light of day. Ah, confidence. Another slippery concept, like focus and organization, that can benefit from some reinforcement.

Another non-surprising observation is that I love being able to step out of the house and find an interesting place to walk (the beach, the woods) and to be able to walk or bike to places I need to go. I've been threatening to sell my house for years, but this complicates things. I can't walk or bike to anything here in the burbs, but I do love the nearby parks and the lush foliage that the east side offers that Clifton, for example, and even Oakley, just doesn't have in like measure. Since I also realized I like to be around people more than I find easily possible here in Anderson, however, that may push things over the edge to population of humans as opposed to trees.

So lessons that are clear and others that aren't so clear are still important, right? Well, yes, if I have the ability and energy and stamina to follow through with what I've learned from these things. I feel the need to plunge into work which I also find myself at the same time resisting. I do think being better about setting aside not only work time, but play time, is crucial both to enjoy life and to plan for it. The blog was useful for feeling connected, even if it was illusory. Obviously, I felt less of a need as the weeks went on and life became a little busier and somewhat more complicated. But it is a useful mechanism to sort things out, record memories, and to close chapters--while leaving doors open--as I'm about to do now.

Another Sunny Weekend

It's Saturday, and I'm keening to take off again. Took a boat trip to Wood Island Lighthouse on Thursday and a day trip to the Portland environs, including Wiscasset north of Portland where the little hut called Reds was recommended as having the best lobster roll in Maine. It was a full lobster on a bun, and the picture shows me more than half way finished. You can see why I'm happy.

Sunshine

Yes, it's official. We saw the sun yesterday for a good part of the day. Of course, it didn't last, but it was glorious--shining brightly, then fogged in, then shining tentatively and then brightly again for hours before the thunder in the distance warned that we wouldn't close out the day without more rain. A few drops dampened a walk in Portland after dinner at a wonderful tapas bar, but the real rain held off until I was in bed, which is when it provided a soothing backdrop to sleep.

Keep this on the lowdown, but sunshine expected today and tomorrow as well. Crazy!

Mainers and "Friendliness"

I guess that's what they're called. Ohio = Ohioans; Maine = Mainians? Mainites? Mainers? I'll go with the last, though the first sounds better. They're a bit maniacal, so Mainians seems to fit better. I've decided they're not really friendly, as I thought they initially were, or not only, simply, uncomplicatedly friendly. They're difficultly friendly. And that goes for others in New England as well.

In the grocery stores, I ask a person stocking shelves where paper plates are, and he says, "Aisle 3" and as I start to thank him and turn, he says, "I'll take you there." Take me there? Grocery stores aren't exactly mazes. He runs into me later as I'm about to check out, and he asks if I'd found everything, and was everything okay. Yeee-essssss . . . . I say hesitatingly. Is he being sarcastic? The third time someone in different stores does that to/for me, I realize it's just how it works here--people, I think, want to please. My roommate asked in another grocery store if we could get the sale prices though we don't have the special store card, and not only did the managers she asked say yes, they tracked us down in the store to bring us our personal courtesy cards.

So it's friendliness, I think. Then I'm looking for the restroom in a Starbucks-type place on campus and walk into a room where I think the restrooms might be located, and instead there are study tables where everyone is reading, working on computers, etc. I'm about to turn and ask the barista, when one young man looks up from his computer, mouths "Restroom?" at me, and as I nod, points me in the direction around the corner where I can find them.

Okay, ah, nice.

Then, I'm traveling to Concord and stop at a Dunkin' Donuts (the Starbucks of Seattle Washington--one on every corner and the only coffee one can sometimes find), and find the bathroom door locked. I turn and a customer who's been talking to a friend at a table across the room calls out from his table, "they have keys for the bathroom; they're usually over there"--and he waves toward the counter where I do find the key and where I mumble a semi-gracious "thanks." Yeah, I'm glad to be directed to so many bathrooms (and no, that's not the only reason I travel), but nice has started to seem a bit pushy, like the next time I look perplexed, someone will walk me to the bathroom whether I want to go or not.

Then, of course, I have the Oracle of Walden Pond experience. And I think I've explained to every sales person in every store I go into where I'm from, why I'm here, when I'm leaving, and no, it's not because I'm volunteering all of this. It gets pumped out of me, like water from a well.

It's very nice in some ways, but I thought we Midwesterners were supposed to be friendly. We're downright freezing cold by comparison. I think we are also a bit inclined to let people be, as though we want to help, but we don't want to intrude. Here, there's no question of intrusion. It includes the cross-lane intrusions by major speeders on major highways as noted before, as well as drivers ready to turn into an intersection who do so by intruding half their car into the intersection into which they want to turn so that, as my friend Maggy whose lived in NE for five years said, you finally let them in and they wave as if to say thank you while you're shrugging your shoulders and wondering what else you could have done if the alternative was to take out their front end.

I'm not saying I don't like this. I do think I'll appreciate walking into a McDonald's back home (my universal pit stop when no other public restrooms are available), and not having anyone assume I need to use the bathroom, even when I do. But a tiny part of me will be a bit pissy when I'm looking for something in a store and the person will tell me where I can find it and then go back to stocking shelves. I may just ask them a few questions, like where they're from, why they're working there, what they consider good customer service to be, what they think about when they stock shelves all day, and maybe even whether they can walk me to the nearest restroom.

The Oracle of Walden Pond

I stayed in Concord after visiting a friend outside Boston. In Sleepy Hollow Cemetery rests such notables as Thoreau, Emerson, and Nathanial Hawthorne. Given the theme of our seminar, it was interesting how many inscriptions declared the deceased's support of the republic and the need for law and justice. Visiting Emerson's house, I imagined Thoreau carrying an armful of wood in as the Emerson kids let their "big brother" in the door and to the wood box (I'm depending on the tour guide for the authenticity of this info). A fellow conference member noted that Emerson's wife said something to the effect that she wondered how he could be called such a hermit when she saw his face in their kitchen every night. What fascinated me were the various wall hangings--prints from places where Emerson had visited, or pictures of friends, but so much of every wall covered with what could be seen as reflections of the various inhabitant's personalities, including Emerson's daughter.

A very different kind of house was reconstructed at Walden Pond. Spare, but attractive in its simplicity, the plastered cabin was supposedly a replica of Thoreau's. The original site is elsewhere and a walk around Walden Pond from the noisy beach where many families were gathered on this rather warm Saturday.

As I was hoping for some solitude, Thoreau-style, I decided to walk the trail around the Pond. The further away I got from the small beach that was anything but quiet, the more I could imagine Thoreau had walked here and how peaceful he would have found this large and placid pond (more like a small lake, reminiscent of many in Northern Michigan). By the time I was on the opposite end, I was only seeing the occasional person in the water or walking along the pond's edge. I found a spot where, as there were at points along the trial, a small opening was made in the wire fence surrounding the pond (yes, not as Thoreau would have found it, no doubt), and stone "steps" progressed into the pond. I sat down and took off my sandals, and plunged my feet in the water as I munched on my snack of an apple and cheese. I thought of Thoreau who I'm sure would have taken time to do just this. The water was clear and cool--I could see good-sized perch among the stony outcroppings.

And yes, dear reader, I knew they were perch. Not because I am such a fisherwoman, though, but because the Oracle of Walden Pond came paddling up to my quiet enclave and told me. A man in what I took to be his late fifties, fit-looking, his face half-hidden behind the large sunglasses with side and top coverage that elderly folks sometimes wear, came paddling up--"How's it goin'?" he asked in his gruff New England voice. "Lovely weatha we're havin'; good to be out in it." He proceeded to reflect on life, the weather, relationships, marriage, fidelity, health, the surrounding area, and, by this point it was of little surprise, me.

His comments and questions alternated. He was by himself because his wife's back was bothering her. Do I get out and do sports? What was I doing here by myself? Why didn't people from the conference I told him about come down with me? People oughta be together, he noted. Marriage is a funny thing; his wife had been away for a week with girlfriends in New York, the first time she'd been away so long. He puttered around the house, but it was quiet. Upon her return he said, "If ya die, I'll be married within the year! I can't take being alone!" He was married thirty years, but he knew many who had gotten divorced. After a number of example, he asked, "So how 'bout you?" and related questions until he'd learned I was divorced, for how long, a brief statement about why, that I had grown children, and that I haven't been dating lately. "Ya oughta find someone," he told me, because things are different the older you are--it's good to have a person to spend time with. A beautiful woman, "A real knock-out!" that he knew married a man who was "so darn ordinary!" he couldn't believe she'd even have looked at him. "Go fig-ya!" I should talk to everyone I meet; the person I'm meant to be with could be anyone. So, I said, recapping, I should find someone to marry, and he could be anyone, so I should talk to anyone, even men who may be what I would consider unattractive. There was a pause. "Within reason!" he said, and with that erupted in a loud voice with, "Love's the glue that holds the world togetha!"

More advice, included telling me of a man he met who looked to be in his 40's but was really 80. "I told my docta, and he agreed: a different species!" he growled, admiringly. How old was I, he asked; forties? fifty? Ah, 52, I responded somewhat grudgingly. He was no flatterer, or otherwise, he might have asked if I was forty, though he did follow up with "ya look like ya work out." I should continue to work out, he said, because there's a certain age one hits when the next day, "bam!, ya might not wake up," and I should find a guy who also worked out (story here about wife who can't keep up with his skiing, kayaking, etc.), and so forth.

My head was spinning as I looked at my watch and thought I should be heading out. The sky was clouding up, I was on the other side of Walden Pond and still needed to walk back, visit a few more sites in Concord, and then drive to Plymouth before the day was over. I'd better go, I told him. I laughingly recapped some of the points he had provided me with, "yeah, yeah," he agreed. "I'm 72 years old!" he announced, and proceeded to give me a few more words of advice as I stood up; at that point, a young man I didn't know (no, not a prospect; much younger than me) came to stand beside me as he seemed to be looking for friends on the Pond. It seemed a good time to go, but I admit I was torn: the Oracle kept paddling, and talking, I kept hoping I'd remember all he said. But he, too, was heading in; he was getting tired, he admitted. He'd been out there most of the morning. He said to enjoy myself, and I left him paddling there.

By the time I walked the rest of the way around the pond, I found the spot where many kayakers beached their kayak. His wasn't there. I peered across the lake, wondering if I could see him--no sign of him. It was a large lake; I'd walked back quickly. I assume he could have paddled faster than I walked, or that he was in some cove somewhere, perhaps advising yet another visitor. The rest of the day, I tried to say at least hello to everyone I met.

(Thanks to my friend Michele for the title of this; I'd noted the oracle in the kayak, but this has a much better ring to it.)

On Reality and Education

I heard from my friend Cathy who assured me that it was okay that I was slacking off in writing this blog; she was slacking off in reading it. What she suggested was writing things that are not necessarily true. Who would know? she asked. So beware that I may slip into sensationalism for the sake of keeping my audience. I won't announce it, however, so it will be your job to consider carefully what may be true and what is not.

In keeping in the mode of audience attention, I thought it was interesting to read reports from early U.S. educational reports. My colleagues and I labor over what can keep students' attention, worry that a decline in attention reflects on us or that students are changing. In an 1828 Report by the faculty at Yale, the observation is made that lectures are a needed part of the educational process so as to "give that light and spirit to the subject, which awaken the interest and ardor of the student." So are these early Yale-ites eager to learn? The warning is given that lectures alone are problematic because "they do not always bring upon the student a pressing and definite responsibility. He may repose upon his seat, and yield a passive hearing to the lecturer, without ever calling into exercise the active powers of his own mind" (I think we've seen those same students reposing.) Students were asking questions such as each should "waste his time upon studies which have no immediate connection with his future profession" and why all students should be required to take all the same classes since a student may have "no taste or capacity" for that subject (have we heard "I'm just not a Math/English/Science person?"). A liberal arts education was, by the way, nonetheless roundly supported.

And in case we think students were given tougher and better education back then--how many of us have heard that we should force students to memorize and recite--students remembered learning as boring: "No attempt was made to interest us in our studies" says one student of this time. "As only a few of the class recited well enough for us to learn anything from what they said, those hours were not only wasted, but put us in a condition of mental torpor." (Well, at least this former student knew what "torpor" meant.) Not much, apparently, was contextualized, and much "discussion" was actually recitation. On the other hand, recitation was also given as punishment--"two South Carolina College students who were discovered shooting their guns in town were punished by being forced to recite fifty lines of the Aeneid to the faculty." That-a-way to ennoble the text.

Some lessons can be learned for what faculty should teach, dare I say especially composition faculty? The Yale Report recommended faculty plus tutors (a bit like our grad students or recently graduated undergrads): "The professor . . . may be greatly aided . . . by those who are not as deeply versed as himself in all the intricacies of [the subject]. Indeed we doubt whether the elementary principles are always taught to the best advantage by those whose researches have carried them so far beyond those simpler truths, that they come back to them with reluctance and distaste. Would Sir Isaac Newton have excelled all others of his day, in teaching the common rules of arithmetic?" Okay, I'm not saying we're all Newtons, but it does say something about having grad teaching assistants.

And to my female colleagues, a few words of warning. Advanced public discourse for women was discouraged, "lest women appear 'threateningly insane and requiring restraint.'" (Yep, been there, done that.) One student at a college for women describes one of her teachers: "Miss Gilbert is rather singular. She is about 40 years of age. She has been quite a belle of New York in her younger years, but being reduced in affluence as well as age, she does not attract so many admirers as in former years, when about 18 perhaps; this consideration renders her rather petulant." Really, I haven't been petulant in at least a week.

I think it was Socrates that was reported to have said something about the youth of the day being lazy and unmotivated and not like youth used to be. I think Plato got it all wrong--there are no perfect forms out there: no perfect students, no perfect teachers, no perfect anything. It is what it is. That's reality. We take it, we deal with it, we act as if things can get better, but we shouldn't spend too much time and energy lamenting that it may not get better. We can celebrate when things work well, when the light bulb goes off over a student's head, when we refrain from going insane. All this is true. Or not.

p.s. in honor of anti-plagiarism rants and raves I provide in my classroom, all above quotes were either from the Reports of the Course of Instruction of Yale College (1828) or Caroline Winterer's The Culture of Classicism (2002).

On Weather

My friend Robbin who resides in Eugene Oregon would be proud of me. I am almost happily walking in the rain these days, sans umbrella. Back in Cincinnati, she'd chastise me for being tied to my umbrella and/or refrain from walking or running when it would rain. Get over it is what you have to do when you live in the Northeast or west, I now humbly realize, and getting over it is what I'm doing for good reason: it's rained since I got here (10 days) except for one day when the sun blazed hot and humid. The rain actually helps offset the persistent humidity, so that a rain or mist feels welcome during a long walk, even when the prevailing winds seem to be from everywhere.

Yesterday morning is a good example. I began a walk though I'd heard the rain spilling out of the gutters outside my window. A long-sleeved shirt and cap would protect me enough, I guessed. By the time I hit the end of the walkway to the main street in campus, it had stopped raining and instead a constant mist hung in the air--cool and refreshing as I winded my way around the neighboring streets that lined the ocean, admiring the cape cods and the flowers in their window boxes and the lush landscape that seems to harbor all varieties of trees and bushes.

I decided to take a path that led to the beach and discovered the huge expanse that is low tide. A changed landscape from last week when a narrow strip of soft sand was all there was to walk on; instead, a veritable parking lot of hard-packed sand dotted with the detritus of the ocean allowed me to criss-cross the beach as I walked and ran, finding beach glass, shells, and rocks that soon began to weight my pockets. Then the rain started, with wind from nowhere and everywhere. It felt wonderful and as though I were part of the ocean myself.

The part I haven't gotten used to yet, and as a Cincinnatian I should be used to this, is the humidity. Today's weather is finally sun and into the 70s--but with 100% humidity. Wet when I want to be, yes. Wet when walking to class just because there's no way to stay cool . . . . Okay, so I haven't jumped all the hurdles of being a Mainer; I have three weeks more to try.

The Weekend . . .

. . . is over all too quickly. Sightseeing in Portland, getting some inexpensive but fresh cod that tasted incredible when I cooked it up for Sunday dinner with the minimalist approach that comes with an only partially-equipped kitchen: sauteed in butter with garlic and red peppers over a bed of brown rice and black beans; a side of parmesan topped romaine and tomato salad. Quite nice. Kroger fish will never be the same. No wine--too much reading was yet to be done.

Happy Father's Day to all fathers out there, including my two in whom I am well pleased. (Yes, I've been immersed in religious studies to date . . . .)

The Rest of Week One

I'm not sure what happened to Day Four, though it and Five were rainy.  Today--our first weekend day since beginning the Institute--breaks sunny and promising.  I've planned to head down later today to Kennebunkport in search of a "real" seafood place.  

It's an odd negotiation when one is away at an Institute, purportedly for a particular educational focus and immersion, to also balance the urge to run off and explore and play and travel.  I am trying to reign myself in and consider this weekend one in which to catch up on reading so that with judicious use of my time during the week, I'll have next weekend totally free and can explore the coastline north of here, staying at a B&B on one of the islands.  I also had met an interesting attendee from a different conference with whom I was able to get away and do some beach explorations; a very nice diversion that I now miss as that conference ended and attendees went their various ways, as I will in another four weeks.  I'm not sure what that tells me except that time does march--it's carpe diem, I suppose.  

The other perspective is that of the student--sitting day after day with the same "classmates," starting to negotiate the who will say what and when (and whether) I should speak, wanting to contribute but not overdo, hoping to see the teacher nod "yes" in response and not that slight grimace followed by, "I see what you're saying, but . . . ", and, of course, trying to get the homework done when the beach and new friends and sleep beckon attractively.  And overall, not trying to let any of those things seem too important, even to myself.  Perhaps this coming week should be an exercise in not thinking too much about any of this and just being.  

Last night my roommate and I headed up the first official gathering of the conference attendees at a party in our suite and two adjoining.  We turned on my alarm radio for some musical ambience, lit my scented candle for a foil to the strange rotten egg smell that occasionally permeates this little Maine getaway, and scattered books attractively--poetry and travel books, of course--for that lived-in look.  We managed to rustle up some good appetizers and, with what others brought, it was what most considered a success.  I thoroughly enjoyed it with one large caveat:  I would have liked my family and friends to have been able to join in.  I do miss you all!

 

Day Three

Found a wonderful wildlife sanctuary on bluffs overlooking the bay, just across from Wood Island Lighthouse.   The lighthouse has been "lighting Maine's Saco Bay for 201 years!" or so says their webpage.  I'll be taking a tour of it sometime while I'm here.  No camera on this trip, so pics will have to wait for posting.  

The other memorable point for me today was when, in class (yes, I do things like this in class) I compared Paul (as in Paul, the writer of books of the Bible) to Jennifer Aniston--the commercial in which she notes to her boyfriend in that goofy-looking movie, "I don't want you to do the dishes, I want you to want to do the dishes."  My point being that it seemed that Paul wanted believers to want to do good, and not merely be constrained by laws to do so, and the ritualistic laws he was describing seemed to epitomize carrying out the line of the law without the embracement of the spirit of doing what was right.  

Good news:  they haven't kicked me out yet.