The Rest of Week One

I'm not sure what happened to Day Four, though it and Five were rainy.  Today--our first weekend day since beginning the Institute--breaks sunny and promising.  I've planned to head down later today to Kennebunkport in search of a "real" seafood place.  

It's an odd negotiation when one is away at an Institute, purportedly for a particular educational focus and immersion, to also balance the urge to run off and explore and play and travel.  I am trying to reign myself in and consider this weekend one in which to catch up on reading so that with judicious use of my time during the week, I'll have next weekend totally free and can explore the coastline north of here, staying at a B&B on one of the islands.  I also had met an interesting attendee from a different conference with whom I was able to get away and do some beach explorations; a very nice diversion that I now miss as that conference ended and attendees went their various ways, as I will in another four weeks.  I'm not sure what that tells me except that time does march--it's carpe diem, I suppose.  

The other perspective is that of the student--sitting day after day with the same "classmates," starting to negotiate the who will say what and when (and whether) I should speak, wanting to contribute but not overdo, hoping to see the teacher nod "yes" in response and not that slight grimace followed by, "I see what you're saying, but . . . ", and, of course, trying to get the homework done when the beach and new friends and sleep beckon attractively.  And overall, not trying to let any of those things seem too important, even to myself.  Perhaps this coming week should be an exercise in not thinking too much about any of this and just being.  

Last night my roommate and I headed up the first official gathering of the conference attendees at a party in our suite and two adjoining.  We turned on my alarm radio for some musical ambience, lit my scented candle for a foil to the strange rotten egg smell that occasionally permeates this little Maine getaway, and scattered books attractively--poetry and travel books, of course--for that lived-in look.  We managed to rustle up some good appetizers and, with what others brought, it was what most considered a success.  I thoroughly enjoyed it with one large caveat:  I would have liked my family and friends to have been able to join in.  I do miss you all!